The Unfollow Manifesto

dailyhuff:

I recently did some unfollowing on web services I use that have a follow function and it got me to thinking about the reasons why I choose to do such a thing.

On either Twitter or Tumblr, I do not mind following people who post A LOT. I really don’t. I don’t mind if you fill up my dash or my index page… AS LONG AS IT’S INTERESTING.

Not even funny. Just interesting. Here are some things that make me click that Follow/Unfollow button:

All you’ve got is negative b.s. (some negativity is fine - non-stop cheeriness makes me suspicious that you’re either cutting that secret little zone on your leg again or quietly duct-taping mice and using them as batting practice with your Louisville Slugger when no one is looking).

You just seem mean, hateful.

You’re a bigot. I live in Georgia; I can step out the door and find all the bigots I’ll ever need.

You are an author or other celebrity on Twitter or Tumblr and the only thing you do is promote this event, that product, whatever (these are the only reasons many celebs use these services, too). I will also, after unfollowing, curse your name to the elder gods and wish for your demise in Cthulhu’s maw. (I follow Steve Agee on Tumblr, for example, and I like him because some of his Tumblr posts are just like other folks’ whom I follow - honest, straightforward, not attempting to do a gag or anything; just being himself.)

If you are a celeb on Twitter or Tumblr and you NEVER, EVER interact with anyone who is not a celebrity too, I’ll probably unfollow you.

If you post shit that sounds like affirmations, constantly - and you’re clearly NOT BEING IRONIC - I will certainly unfollow. My taste for the treacly is reserved for dessert dishes.

If all you ever do is reblog or retweet others, I’ll consider unfollowing. If I suspect you’ve stripped credit to make it look as if you either discovered whatever you post or worse, created it yourself, I don’t want a damn thing to do with you.

I feel guilty when I unfollow people. It’s not funfollowing. I try to avoid it if I can. Then again, I also limit the number of follows because I don’t want to be forced into that position and I want to pay attention to the folks who publish truly interesting stuff.

Things that don’t really bother me, but I may complain about:

Mystifying, context-free non sequiturs that seem more related to your real life than something on the Web. A number of folks I follow do that. I may smack my head sometimes because of this, but it would never make me unfollow you.

You post something as if you’ve just seen it for the first time ever and it is the GREATEST THING ON THE WEB, you follow me & vice versa (obviously), and I POSTED IT TWO FREAKING DAYS AGO. That may frost me, but I probably won’t unfollow you (this has happened a lot, btw).

Random bulleted lists of stuff the blogger posts because it’s a rainy Saturday and he’s bored. JUST LIKE THIS.

See, I just annoyed myself. But I guess I’ll keep following me for now. I better watch it, though.

This is a pretty solid list.